We only recently freed ourselves from their talons after some passerby complained about our crappy old retaining wall — which we were planning to replace anyway, so no biggie. But in the process of investigating the wall, enforcers went on a quest to find other violations. Our branches were deemed too low, even though they were way higher than many neighbors' trees. A juvenile tree had died. After the new wall was installed, we were in trouble for having bare dirt on the site just a couple of weeks later (I'm just so sorry I can't make seeds germinate out of season and grow to maturity within days.)
So, friendly and polite as they were, we don't want to deal with them again.
Because my neighbors' parking strips are all over the spectrum in terms of plant height, tidiness, and non-plant cover, I figured the city wasn't that picky about parking strips.
Then I found the city's Park Strip Standards edict.
Holy shit!
No, wait. There's more.
Daaaayyyyumn.
OK, so the rules.
Trees are allowed — nay, required — one per every 30 feet. Their trunks have to be at least two inches thick. But shrubs over 36 inches are forbidden. No shrubs or plants taller than 18 inches are allowed in "sight distance areas," but "sight distance areas" are not defined. To plant any trees, you have to get a permit from the forestry people. Shrubs are not differentiated from trees. Mountain Mahogany: Is it a shrub? A tree? Who can tell?
I suppose Code Enforcement can tell. But I don't want to draw attention to myself, for God's sake! What if all these questions cause them to identify me as a target for further investigation, come out and decide my pea gravel is the wrong diameter?
Freaking law and order. Sometimes I miss the U.P. No rules. No constraints. My friend there brought her pet iguana out to dinner with us, and no one cared even when it pooped on the table.
Ah, freedom.
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